my goal is to write in this every day so that i can for my 30th birthday compile a bunch of thoughts, ideas and sillisms and publish a book. i have always had the idea of being a writer floating around in my head but lately the desire has been too prevalent to ignore. i am constantly pondering, reacting, wishing, and harping on things in my own little world that its time to let out and unload the crazy. i am in this weird place right now. i lost my sister to a short, extremely aggressive battle with cancer and i am still trying to figure out what the hell happened. its this feeling of heartbreak that is so terrible you eventually become numb. i never felt a heartbreak like this and so as per her wishes i wake up every morning and battle the day and act as normal as possible given that normal is not my life anymore. i think she is really the driving force behind all of this. i almost feel like her life is a lesson we all are suppose to learn from. i know when people talk about those who have passed its kind of annoying that they are remembered being so saint like. the truth of the matter is my sister was saint like and not in a overbearing jesus take the wheel kind of way. she had a sense of humor about life and was so laid back about it. she was beautiful, driven, empathetic and smart. people were drawn to her because she lived in grace effortlessly.
i am going to write this book because just as much as i want to do it for me i am doing it for her too. she is going to get shouted out all over the place! hope you are ready to see your name in print maryellen griffith fiore. xoxo
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