WE ARE WHO WE ARE....get em' ke$ha

soooo....

my ego got a kick to the balls last week.  what had happened was i was quitting okcupid again for the millionth time and before i left i was checking out dudes who were looking at my profile.  this one dude seemed interesting.  he was all tattoos, skating and bulldog-ing.  i'm like hmmzzzz ive never dated one of those.  so i send boyfriend a message being like hey you seem cool here is my email i hate this website k bye.

boyfriend emails me back and is like i have no idea who you are so i send him a pic that was on okcupid.  he gives me his number to call him.

now...i'm kind of like creeped out by this.  truthfully i found myself getting more creeped out by online dating in general.  but its like we haven't had a conversation and now you want me to call you?!!?! i thought about it as i was driving to sissy's house.  i came to the conclusion that what do i have to lose? plus i have a way of a drive.  lets kill sometime and meet someone new...over the phone...this isnt awkward at all.

so i call random.  he is all hey bro what up yeah dude gnarly jargony.  i am eyerolling off the chain but then i stop myself because i know i speak crazy talk so let me not judge this kid.  he is driving to philly to meet friends.  i am driving to philly to stalk my sister.  WEIRD!! so we talk more nonsense...i end up at my sisters house and i bid my new phone friend adieu.  i thought ok that was cool but thought nothing of it.

this dude then proceeds to stalk my life.  he texts me that night, he texts me the next morning, he texts me later on that night.  meanwhile i am sissy-ing up and not paying any mind to my phone. i leave on saturday night to make my way home.  boyfriend is texting me asking where im going to be.  i again ignore.

sunday morning...creepo calls at 10:00am (wtf don't call me before noon please on a sunday) he calls me again while i'm watching the jets game.  he calls me that night.  i finally answer even though i'm kind of annoyed because im trying to win knives on this online auction.  we chat about nonsense once again and he asks me about facebook.  i'm pseudo on facebook so he asks me to look him up...i friend request and he says hey i will call you back im going to check you out on my phone.  boyfriend never contacts me again.

WTF?!?! i mean i know i'm not victoria secret model hot or anything but dayum i was dismissed HARD.  in one sense it was like ok this kid is cray cray calling me off the hook but then to fall off so dramatically?  am i that heinous?  do i scare off the tattoo kids with my lack of visible tattoos?  so i felt bad about myself.  then i felt bad that i gave crazy kid all this power over me to make me feel that bad. 

the universe hooked me up though.  in the middle of my pity party ke$ha's we are who we are came on.  im not going to lie...i totally had a moment.  i blasted that shit, danced as best as i could while operating a moter vehicle and gave a proverbial fuck you to tatt'd random.

moral of the story according to ke$ha.  we are who we are.  so deal.

swaganista?

Nothing...and i mean NOTHING makes me feel swaggier than a new haircut.  i don't know if it's the special shampoo smell or how my hair feels oh so silky but i refuse to let water touch my hair for 2 solid days after my hair is did!  for reals i make that blowout last a lifetime because it cannot be recreated my my mere mortal hands.  do you agree?  check the pic!

ok cupid has made me realize how shallow i am!

what had happened was...

steven j (ex manfriend) and i broke up last nov/dec.  i haven't had much action since.  it's been over a year and its time for this girl to do the damn thing! with that said i signed back up on ok cupid.  now since i have been back all i do is window shop.  i look at the hot dudes and see that they have orange/red lights next to their names which means they are highly selective when responding back.  at first i made this a mission...i'm going to get a red lighter to respond to me!  woot woot!....that shit still hasn't happened.  so i talk to some randoms and i automatically write them off because i'm very let me dismiss him before he dismisses me.  with that being said wtf is the point of being on this website trying to meet someone if i am just shutting down left and right. so i took to okcupid and in my self summary i put the crazy on paper that i am making my experience on okcupid a "tearing down the emotional walls of emily griffith project"

since doing this i have received 2 ims from dudes that look like straight up crack heads.  the old me would have been like keep it moving...but who knows? maybe these crackheads will have some amazing impact on my life.  the point is i need to cut the crap and come from a place of yes! sidebar bethenny frankel is writing a book called a place of yes and i am obsessed already.

VEGAN COOKIES!!

isa chandra moskowitz is currently at the top of my shero list.  i made vegan chocolate chip cookies out of her cookbook.  check it!

can you drink beer on a raw food diet?

so...

my sister's cancer came back.  she originally had it in her breast and now has spread to her lung.  since hearing the news i have become psychotic and i am googling the shit out of every which way to cure cancer.  with that said I'm coming across some interesting articles about the correlation between diet and cancer.  there are books and articles about cancer survivors who helped cure themselves by turning to a vegan/raw food diet.  so my sis has been doing this for over a month now.  i have been flexatarian-ing for a month myself...its not that bad however i am a total fake veganista.  i get pizza without cheese...i drink amstel light like its my job (vegan according to the internet...the internet is god) and live off veggie delights at subway.  i made vegan cookies for thanksgiving that sis-star totally appreciated.  i blended tofu to make brownies (not so bueno...i need to twerk on that) but slowly i am coming around!  currently i am drinking a lovely blended cocktail of spinach, blueberries, carrots and strawberries.  it's actually decent.  i can't say its good because milkshakes are good...this stuff is doable.

sidebar: i love that spell check doesn't know half the shit i am trying to say. 

free write!

blogs make me nervous.  in one way i feel like i am so self centered to think that someone would actually take the time out of their day to read the random ramblings spiraling out of my head onto my laptop.  but part of me however thinks this could be EXCELLLEEENNNTTT since i am on the quest to trying to figure out why i am so fucked up.  maybe if an innocent bystander came along and dr phil'd me or maybe i can dr phil myself through this.  either way i am going for it.  i am going to post shit i care about.  take pictures of things that interest me.  who knows maybe someone will actually get something from this!